silent yeaning
by Mirror Of Words
Summary: he'll choose to believe in her, to heed in her silent yearnings, because he is Shido Itsuka, and Shido Itsuka will never give in to despair. (and just maybe because he loves her with all his heart, too.) —Shido/Kurumi, one-shot.


prompt: hush

title: silent yearns

full summary: he'll choose to believe in her, to heed in her silent yearnings, because he is Shido Itsuka, and Shido Itsuka will never give in to despair. (and just maybe because he loves her with all his heart, too.)

a/n: one can tell I served shit with this prompt. I utterly fucked this one up. Point out where I truly incorporated the prompt properly (don't tell me ooh it's the last part please, on my terms that' sustainable crap) and I will give you a cookie. I could not even hold back the Dangan Ronpa-ness. I will edit this. Soon.

im sorry I'm swearing a lot. enjoy!

**EDITED** BECAUSE I'M COOL LIKE THAT. NO MORE FREE COOKIES BAHAHA /shot

* * *

He's not paying attention in class again.

Sure, history might not be the most interesting class ever, but he doesn't really have a reason not to pay attention this time 'round. At the time being there wasn't anything to worry about - even his lovingly cute little sister had been surprisingly carefree the past few days, resorting to bug her elder brother to death to pass her languidly flowing time (before he pulls out his trump card in the form of tickling) - and days had been surprisingly easy to pass, what with all the ruckus that had gone on the past few weeks or so. He had no Spirits to worry about; around him, everything was perfect as perfect can be. Even Tohka and Origami managed to get along (surprisingly), albeit still obsessed with fighting for his attention.

Still, he couldn't quite find the heart to do... _anything._

A few seats away, his best friend twiddled away at his phone, marveling away at his (forevermore) virtual girlfriend. On the left, Origami listened to the teacher attentively, occasionally chancing a glance his way (although at times he noticed a burning gaze of rivalry - perhaps those gazes were to Tohka, in which case said girl did not notice at all). To his right, Tohka seemed to pay moderate attention, showing off a bored expression whilst toying with her violet strands of hair. Here and there, the students' attention varied, from flat-out uncaring of the teacher's lectures (something about the first spacequake or another one of those annual history teachings) to their eyes being magnified to the blackboard (or maybe they were just sleeping with their eyes open; those students certainly were a force to be reckoned with, ha).

And then his eyes drifted to that sole empty seat.

_Kurumi Tokisaki_. Her name resounded in his mind like the clear chiming of a bell. Like her vibrant, soothing, yet at times horrendously twisted laugh.

Kurumi... He couldn't help his thoughts from shifting towards the girl. That charming girl who abruptly strode into class one day, outright introducing herself as a Spirit. He could still hear her laugh ringing in his ears, her smile imprinted deep into his memories. His eyebrows knotted in frustration, and for once, he let out a sigh not unheard by the girls sitting by his sides.

It hurt to think of her.

How? He couldn't fathom the idea of it all. How could a Spirit be so twisted? How could her intentions be so striking? So... unimaginable... So... _unreal_. He couldn't believe that in her was nothing short of malicious intents, towards him, towards everyone else around him. How she could pull off such a stunt, attempting to devour the time of all the students in the school, and launch a spacequake, right there, right then. He couldn't, still, up till then, grasp the idea of it.

He knew, inside her, there had to be something else. She couldn't be just that, right? All those times he spent with her, those dates - sure, she was something else, so blunt and outward and not at all conscious of aspects that she should be in -

[not to mention outright twisted like the world crushed into smithereens right in my hands, really, now]

- but he knew, there, it was there. She's a Spirit, one contorted beyond belief, even, but she's still a Spirit, just as Tohka and Yoshino are. That day, on the roof, when she attempted to devour the time of all the students in their school, the day he held himself hostage to save everyone else - he uncovered a Kurumi Tokisaki unlike her_ self._

_"S-Shido... Can I really..."_

[Disgusting.]

She wanted to be saved. She had no reason to like the world, yes, but he could work it out. He could save her. And, at that moment, she had actually placed her trust in his hands -

(the pale, slender hand hesitantly reaching out to its only source of hope it can rely on, the only one able to save her, to free her from the shackles that bounded her - )

[couldn't she understand that was just false hope she was piling onto herself? What a pity]

- until -

_"You can't. How can you be fooled by those words? ...alright, I know, _goodnight_."_

- until all that hope was shattered by the one that truly was her self.

The memory was still so vivid in his mind, her face, filled to the absolute edge with hope that she, Kurumi Tokisaki, would finally be accepted, could release all the burdens weighing her down and making her someone she shouldn't be, mangled into one of pain, of resolute despair -

[that it's never, ever going to happen, the _poor naïve girl_]

- as the hand burst through her lower region and reduced her to a broken marionette with her strings forcefully ripped from her, without even giving her the chance to be her own puppeteer, for once; crimson not unlike the tone of her dress pooling upon the ground.

[But then again, that wasn't quite _me_, was it? _I_ would never require such a thing. _I_ would not need such hope for _myself_. _I_ can achieve _my_ desires on _my_ own. The whole world can hate on _me_, but _I _will continue my ways. _I _am not like me, _my_ past self, whose so naïve to the point of grasping on such whimsical statements - silly girl, do you really think such a thing could come to fruition? Where are your true desires placed at? Dear, dear. _I_ can't quite believe you're a manifestation of _my_ past self; _I_ much rather find comfort in the thought that you are but a fabrication of _myself_

oh, but then again, you are, aren't you? Once you're a worthless pile of flesh and bones upon the cold, solid ground - see who will offer you hope once you're there, dear?]

And everything was over, and Kurumi Tokisaki was Kurumi Tokisaki once more, everything that had happened, every shred of hope dissolved into void, as if a dire will needing to escape from its confinements dissipating into nothingness, forever lost within the rifts of time, never to be perceived again.

Why is it? Why is it that she won't quite liberate herself from all that's confining her? Even he can't quite figure it out. He's saved Tohka, removing that bitter smile from her face and replacing it with a legitimate, much sweeter one. He's aided Yoshino, helped her to stand on her own two feet, become a figure she can and will always look up to. Hell, he even freed Kotori from the clutches of that insidious being! Why can't he commit such a simple act as having Kurumi settle her heart firmly into his hands - _and succeed?_

(it's as if a secret needed to be sealed behind bars, to be _hushed_ away for good, to have it never see light

just, _hush, hush, hush_

an empty time of painful, forsaken silence needed to be liberated)

But he hadn't given up on her. No, he cannot, he will not.

[And why is that?]

Because he believes, despite all that's happened, Kurumi Tokisaki is still Kurumi Tokisaki. The girl yearning for acceptance, for hope, was still out there, needing. Needing someone to be a figure of support, a pillar of hope she can lean on, can rely on.

[Now you're not quite making any sense.]

Perhaps one would call on him, blinded by this aspect known as hope, struggling to make out what never existed in the first place -

[because that's exactly what you're doing, dear.]

- but he knows. Call it intuition, call it a senseless blather, he knows. He knows, and he will not stop at that. Knowing of it and letting it lie is akin to allowing it to fade away beyond the boundaries of hope. He will strive. He will not give in. He will run, as long as it takes, as long as he manages to convince her, convince Kurumi of his ways.

Because he is Shido Itsuka. And Shido Itsuka will never allow hope to slip by his fingers and let it be.

[And I suppose you're right about that, Shido Itsuka. Tee, hee...]

...

[now hush, my dear boy, and wait. Continue on with your senseless dream and wait for me, now, will you please?

_For I'll make you eat your words_.

And then you'll _hush_ for good! Tee, hee...]

* * *

**A/N:** Shizzles. I intended this to be part of a Shido/Kurumi one-shot collection for a challenge over at the Anime and Manga Fanfiction Challenges Forum, but this turned out a heck lot longer than expected, so I'm gonna cut this one out. I'll work on some of the formatting later.

btw, the words in the odd brackets [] indicate Kurumi's thoughts towards Shido's. Don't ask how. Let's just say Kurumi's keeping tabs on the boy. Sounds plausible enough.

I ship Shido/Tohka more, but Episode 9/10 (can't remember which) cemented this ship onto my heart. I cannot decide which I like better, but it's probably this one. On second thought writing fanfics for these two have them rule over my heart. *hearts*

criticism is much needed, because I'm pretty sure I did a bad job on this. Hurr. Thanks for reading! Love.


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